getting there
I am trying to stop worrying about my A's problems. I keep thinking of the things he should be doing to cleanup his mess, but then I stop myself and realize I don't need to worry about what he is doing, or not doing. It is so hard. He has been able to find elsewhere to sleep for the last 3 nights. I am enjoying the peace. But I still find myself jumping into the future thinking I need to take of things RIGHT NOW. But I don't. I can wait and see, do the mortgage in Jan., split the furniture, change around car insurances, etc. I don't know if he really gets that it is over. Heck I don't even know 100%. But he has alot of things to clear up and I really want him to be clean, working regularely, for at least 1 year before I even think of letting him back into my life. But then theres the thing about once and addict always an addict. Do I want to do this again in ?? years? NO. there were so many times he let me down, lied to me and my family. I must remember that there are other men out there who do not lie. BUt do they cook, clean, love my kids, love me warts and all??? I know only time can help me right now, I just want to know everything NOW!!!! time, time time....