I feel much better. The depressive thoughts come and go, but I just let them flow and make sure I go to the health club, swim, take care of my little girl and maintain good relationships with my friend and family (La cosa nostra).
An old friend and colleague has surfaced yet again. This is
not however the man who stalked me. This is another man, and I have feelings and thoughts about him that make me both happy, uncomfortable and confused.
We have known each other for four years but have often been in different countries and not seen each other at long intervals. When we first met, it was "attraction at first sight", but we didn´t do anything about it as he had to leave for a long assignment abroad.
Now we have been meeting regularily at functions and he does everthing to show me he is interested in me, but I´m afraid it´s just sexual. Although we have worked together on big projects, he knows very little about me. He keeps going on about my looks, my clothes, superficial things and is reluctant to talk about my knowledge, skills and professional attributes.
Also, he just waits to see me at the next social function to have fun. If I speak to some other friendly men that are interested in me, he gets really possessif and immedately come over to chase them away. Then I may not see him for two or three months, because he is away on business.
Last year he asked me to marry him "because we would never find anyone else who shared the same interests as we do and have the same background". I told him to take a hike. He then told me he had put it badly and meant it differently and invited me to come with him to a boring conferance in Switzerland. No offense, Swiss people, je vous adore, but I don´t want to go there on a conference listening to hours of lecture on quantum physics.
I told him so and he got so hurt, he wouldn´t see me for some time.
Anyway, when we start meeting often like this I start to think about him, but I wonder if it is a beginning of something or nothing. I also dislike the energy he takes and I haven´t got a clue what´s on his mind except what he says, that he really likes me physically. He added lately that I had attributes he never knew of and liked discovering that.
He has said about himself that he is a sensitive man who has been burnt badly by women and isn´t able to hold on to a relationship. He told me he wanted to change that and has sought professional help and is now seeing a therapist lately.
I don´t know if I should just have fun with him, go with the flow or just dismiss him and talk with the other guys I work and socialize with. The problem is he has chasen them away and acts like he owns me in public.
I feel confused and I really don´t know how to handle this. Could some one please give me a good advice and/or input?
Does anyone know what to make of this man?
Love and light,