(((Hopeangel))) I can so relate to your post. Please don't beat yourself up over it. I went thru that severals times too (and I'm still w/him even though I have my order against him). He consulted a divorce attorney the Tuesday night, I told him great, my HP was looking out for me and made the decision for me. When the time is right, the time will be right. I'll be thinking of you.