Hey Rob, thanks for coming back and sharing. I am sorry to read about the pain you are in. By all means, Rob, you deserve a second chance at life and hope!!!! No one is beyond saving...EVER. If you are inclined, check out the Spirituality or Christians in Recovery boards - there is a lot of support there for the type of struggle you are in right now if either of those topics appeals to you.
If not, (or even if you post there also), stay here with us. We all have skeletons rattling in our closets, and we all have different perspectives on coming to terms with them. My personal choice is by asking HP for forgiveness, and I believe AA recommends making amends to anyone who you can make amends to without hurting them futher. (I am a major newbie with AA, so feel free, anyone, to correct that or add to it if I am incorrect).
Most importantly, Rob, forgive yourself. You are worth it. And I bet anything your wife and children agree with me.
Keep close - there's lots of support on the way, I'm sure.