Constant,
I don't know but when you find out how to get by this please let me know. This is exactly what I struggle with. I choose to stay for now but feel sorry for myself for being in a difficult or lousy situation. I'm not sure but I think I have to be patient with myself and need to grow up some. Maybe I need to let go of the "dream" and start dealing with what is. Maybe I need some more time to heal from not getting my needs met as a child and young adult. Maybe then I will be better able to deal with what is without feeling self pity. Because self pity doesn't do anything positive for me, it just drags me down. Anyway boy can I relate.