I think I choose to keep believing that one day I will have all the things I have dreamed of - w/ him or in spite of him. I pray that it is w/ him, but will be content if it is not. I, thankfully, have a beautiful 10 yo dd that helps me get through those days when I can't stand life and she usually puts me back into my place
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When we make the choice to stay w/ our A we also have made the choose to accept what comes w/ it if we can't change it. Easy, no. Possible, yes.
As for the pity party - I tend to eat a lot of chocolate then. Just kidding. I think that is when I seek out friends or just get off by myself for awhile and reflect and see what I can do for myself.