Thanks you guys,
Your support and advise helps me so much. I'm so thankful for everyone here. This site really has been a lifesaver too me.
I get so caught up in the fantasy and mind games that I can't see the progress I've made. I do feel guilty for hanging up on him. Whenever I do that he tells me how rude I am. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do anyway. That's something that I have to work on. Is hanging up on him dettachment in love? Or is it that right now I can't dettach in love so dettachment of any kind is what I need for my own sanity? Did that make any sense? I just don't think he's ever going to be capable of giving me what i want or need and I know that I can't stay in this place much longer.
Not talking to him or seeing him is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can do it....I can do it.... I just have to keep telling myself that.
This is how baldy my thinking is screwed up. I feel bad because I think well maybe he really did need me and needed my help. Maybe he was crying out to me last night because he realizes he needs help and actually wants help this time and here I am just turned my back on him. I hung up on him as if was no one. I have such a hard time realizing if he's really telling me the truth or just playing on my sympathy.
thanks,
Love,
Galnva