Chy, So you hate your piece of **** job, your truck is falling apart and you have court and bills and tickets. You're being treated by tough love. Honey, you've been tough enough to yourself. When you stay messed up for twenty years, that's tough. I'm glad you've got people who love you in your life. Wonder how they sleep at night, wondering where you are and what you're doing. You've tried 12 steps, ya da ya da ya da...Have you REALLY TRIED or did you just show up wanting someone to fix you. Girl, get real, you're the only person who can fix this. When you're really ready to give up the "high" you'll be willing to surender and instead of depending on relatives to give you support, you'll go to people who have been where you are and then you'll get real help. Hell, what have you got to lose. Sounds like you've lost enough already. I'll pray for you.