Speaking of Visitation.....I have never had a great time at visitation. It's a little humiliating pulling in the Dept. of Corrections parking lot when you get there, then you have to give them your license and tell them what inmate you're there to see, then go through the metal detector. That part wasn't so bad, really compared to what they just started doing at the facility my AH is at... by the way HE didn't tell me, my MIL did. (He knew I wouldn't come anymore). They now search your car in the parking lot, too. I understand why they do this, cause some people are stupid enough to bring drugs to their inmates, but I'm not one of them, and this is too humiliating for me and my children, and I don't plan on visiting anymore.
A co-worker whom I've worked with for the last 19 years passed away last week. I was really sad about it. This was a good, good family man. Always laughing, always making others laugh. We were like one big family at work. At his funeral, the church was too small they had to turn people away. The service was uplifting, as a celebration of his life, not just the end. Anyway, AH called not long after I got back,
I told him where I'd been, etc. Anyway, he started in about the writing and how come I hadn't opened the mail and give his letters to the kids. I told him "I just haven't felt like it". He then starts cursing, and says F***it, lets just call this off and get this over with." So I hang up on him ... of course he keeps calling back. I take the phone off the hook so I don't have to hear it ring. (I mention this as it's like I'M not allowed feelings, just him.)
Little things like this tell me he is not truly working his recovery. He then calls back once or twice through the week, I finally answer on "Thanksgiving". And he talks like everything is just hunky dory. No mention of the last call, no apologies until I tell him about it. Then he starts crying, He's the only person in the prison who didn't get a Thanksgiving card". He then starts the "I just need you to help me". I tell him I've learned the only one I can help is myself. He says he's learned the same thing. (Yeah, it's not sounding that way, buddy!) I'm having major frustration here, I don't have high hopes for when he gets out.