Chiy -
Girl, I definitely know how you feel about consequences.
I actually was raised to be responsible and supported myself for 28 years. Unfortunately, I am just now learning to be responsible with money. 4 years ago I was making $40/hour and bought pretty much what I wanted....a lot on credit cards.
Fast forward to now...I'm making $3.13/hour plus tips and I am having to pay $11,000 to 2 of those credit cards I ran up. That, plus car, insurance, and other stuff are really making me struggle.
I've worked out a payment plan with the creditors and will be paying them for years. This is the first time in my life where I'm only buying what is absolutely necessary.
The only thing that gets me through a lot of days is knowing that as long as I stay clean, keep working, pay bills, and don't run up unnecessary bills, eventually I will be past paying for the consequences.
You are NOT stupid....in fact you are very wise to realize what brought you to where you are. I truly believe that as long as we stay clean, we can get through the consequences. I have never been so broke in my life, but on the other hand, I have never felt so good about facing my challenges and finding a way to work them out.
You're doing great, and I am so glad to see you posting.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy