I separated. After 13 years, finally decided I could no longer live on the roller coaster, and took a good hard look at what it was TRULY doing to me and my children. Things got much worse for him, but after a while, better for me. The kiddos were happier than ever becuase life was stable and mom was not a basket case. I remember feeling peace and contentment for the first time in a long time. However, I had my days. I reread some of my old posts, and man, I definitely had my days back on the roller coaster. But, they didn't last as long, and eventually I felt as if I was controlling the ride. The separation gave me time to work on me and really do some soul searching. It was good.
My AH on the other hand, went downhill fast. Drinking so much he was taken by ambulance to the hospital twice becuase his heart almost stopped. I could give you a long drunk log, but won't. He eventually hit his bottom after many months. Went to a 30 day rehab (about his 6th or 7th rehab) and was drinking within a few days. Then ended up in jail. The cement detox and an angel in jail and him finally trusting God is what helped. He is now 2 1/2 years sober going to 7-9 AA meetings a week and is now helping others. It is a miracle. If my drunk H can do it, anyone can do it.
So, I don't know whether separating helped him hit his bottom or not. I do know that I got better and my children got better. I do remember wishing he could join us in our newfound life, but he simply wasn't capable and I was no longer capable of trying to "save" him.