moving out
Good thread. I've moved out several times. First, it was one night in the motel, then more. My wife went to 30 day residential rehab almost 6 years ago. Since then she has become a relapser with ever decreasing sobriety lengths.
Last year I moved out and got an apartment. I also hired an attorney to obtain a divorce. That fell though, she never got served. I, as always, relented and bought back into her recovery. Currently I'm in an extended stay place. The last two times I've left were different because she was not 'active'. The signs were there though, I know what's coming.
I assume you are asking because you are wondering if it 'works'? Not in my case. I'm left with a marriage in shambles. Also, I'm in a sort of limbo land, unable to resolve much anything and move on. I believe my main problem is going for the divorce. The ship is leaking, kinda like the Titanic, it's a mathmatical certainty. Issue #1: guilt. Even though I know Al Anon gives full permission to leave, divorce, whatever, I still am so far unable to go for the permanent split.
My wife would in all likelihood not fare well. I'm moving up in my career, she is retired, hangs around the house. Does things her way. It ain't working.
Here's the kicker: I'm in healthcare and can find employment anywhere. I can work contracts wherein I am sent somewhere, given per diem, housing, 401, insurance.
If someone knows the button to push me over the top I'd appreciate it.
Thanx