What she said.
Also, one "effect" that my separation is having is that it's making ME more honest about my motives. I really had it in my head 4 weeks ago that I was leaving to get away from the craziness of active drinking. This was certainly true, but what I didn't bank on what how much of my real motive was to get AH to "wake up", start back into recovery, miss me, etc. Truth is, he's told me he misses me but doesn't miss all my codep/enabling behaviors that I thought I'd really taken care of via AlAnon. Whether this is more manipulation on his part remains unclear, but it's definitely allowed me to take another look at ME. It's always a two-way street, even if I'm not drinking anymore.