Sadness... this poem came to mind when I read your post...
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves.
Hugs, Graci. It's hard when they are dealing with the reality of their actions, especially doing it sober in a jail cell. Do something nice for you if you can. Taking good care of you will help give you the strength to get thru this.