More than likely you arrived here because you have a loved one that is addicted.
More than likely you have tried to fix, help, save, rescue, protect them repeatedly
More than likely you've done your share of yelling, screaming and crying, pleading and begging, praying and more than likely all your efforts have failed to change a thing
More than likely you have turned yourself inside out with self blame, danced with "If only I WERE or WEREN'T, would, wouldn't, should, shouldn't haves ... then he/she wouldn't/would be ...
More then likely you've danced to the tune of molding, fashioning and shaping yourself into the image of what you think would make him/her love you more only to find yourself jumping through endless hoops of conformity.
More than likely you've spent many sleepless nights waiting up and worrying, hours and hours on the phone calling around to places you know he/she hangs out at (bars, his/her friends, family and no one has seen him/her) your convinced something terrible must have happened so you call (jails, hospitals, the morgue)
Before you know it the night is gone and now it is the ween hours of the morning ... you're tired, been crying, worried sick
More than likely you've been lied to, stole from, cussed at, blamed, accused and the list goes on and gets uglier...
More than likely you've stooped to snooping, hunting, hiding and lying yourself
More than likely you have spent many days and nights like this and worse.
More than likely you've wrapped your life, your dreams, your desires, YOURSELF up in this other person so tightly that yourself esteem is no where to be found, your depressed, lost and oh so lonely.
More than likely you've gotten your hopes up over and over only to find yourself in the same boat time after time after time.
If you are hear reading this forum then more than likely you are searching for answers outside yourself.
More than likely you are trying to find out how you can help your addicted loved one
More than likely you're going to find the answers hard to swallow
More than likely at some point you'll wonder why you need recovery because you are not the one using drugs .... The crazy thing is we get just as sick if not sicker then the addict does. They are in pursuit of drugs and we are in pursuit of them. We become addicted to the addict and trying to save them so much so that we lose ourself completely...
More than likely you'll continue to keep doing' what you've been doing all along and so will the addict in your life .. so then more than likely you'll sprinkle in some of the things you've learned from this site ... and more than likely you will feel guilty and uncomfortable at first, but more than likely the new knowledge will be a life saver and you will find yourself on a journey into YOUR OWN RECOVERY.
If you are here reading this forum you are in good hands ... I encourage you to enter with an open mind (don't scoff at hearing you need recovery or at hearing Let go and let God) be open ... trust that their are many here who have been down the path before you and have found light at the end of the tunnel .. let their experiences be a guide for you to help you get to where you want to be in your own recovery.
More than likely taking care of yourself "first and foremost" goes against the grain of everything you feel inside is the right thing to do for your addicted loved one and maybe you'll find that you just cannot do the things you read about that others have done in order to regain back their own life ... and maybe you might not be ready for this site right now .. but do yourself a favor and bookmark it because more than likely you'll need it sooner or later ...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the persons I cannot change;
courage to change the one I can;
and wisdom to know its me.
I want to point out that our addiction (our addicted loved one) does nothing to comfort us, to fix, help, save, rescue us .. they don't jump through hoops trying to make things all nice, cozy and better for us .. Your addicted loved one didn't bring you here .. you found your own way .. You obviously got sick and tired of being sick and tired .. the same process works for the substance abuser... when we back off and let them live their own life, let them reap the consequences from their behavior and choices, when we allow them to own their addiction and all that comes with it .. it is then that they have the chance to experience the unpleasant conditions of being addicted. It is then that they have a chance to see that addiction is truly a thorn in their side .. their chance at becoming sick and tired and they can begin to look for answers outside of themselves and drugs ... it is then that they become free to find their way into recovery.
Passion