My head works the same way yours does, Mandi. Less so today, but still. I remember what it was like - especially in those early days of sobriety. I'm so impressed with your sobriety, especially given your age. You should be proud of yourself. I understand wanting to drink, truly I do. We are alcoholics, and it's normal for us to drink, or to obsess about it when we can't.
I'm glad you're going to your meeting. Share with your sponsor when you get there. Tell the truth, and keep yourself safe. This will pass, and it will get easier. Keep reaching out, and I hope you make some sober friends you are able to spend time with doing something you enjoy.
Remember - she is your sponsor for a reason - use her! You may help her to stay sober today.
Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.
Row