Originally Posted by
THE KING 
to be fair to my knowldge he still is clean it's just that the BIG clue popped up again when he didnt call back and the fact that I know he is or atleast WAS thinking of dealing is very very concering.
quite frankly If I ever found out that he relapsed........well lets just pray that doent happen cause I cant predict what my reaction would be but I do know I proabaly wouldnt take it well
Hey, King, the beautiful thing about "our" program is that it teaches us how to be in a good place....regardless of how the addict in our life is doing.
I hope your dad is okay, although I agree that when they lose contact it is usually because they are ashamed for us to know how they are.
The instinct you feel is disturbing you, and the thought of IF he does start using again admittedly will take you to a bad place. Working a program for yourself will help you deal with that demon called fear.
Have you tried any meetings? Alanon, Naranon or CoDA are great and also ACOA is good for children of addicts. All of these programs are not about the addict nor their substance, they are about us and our issues in dealing with a loved one who is addicted. You'd be doing yourself a great favour to give meetings a try.
Hugs