Hey there Ahimsa
I see detaching as what happens _after_ i have established my boundaries. It is the _result_ of having determined what my needs are, what I won't allow in my life, and how I take action to maintain those boundaries.
Detachment happens little by little for me. Each time I set a better boundary, each time I learn a little more about taking care of my needs, I become more detached from the harmful behavior of other people.
Mike