The dangers of falling in love while in recovery for addiction
By JD Henry.
Helium.com
When we first get into recovery we're not just riding an emotional roller-coaster; we're riding it without a safety belt. In my own experience, I've found that recovery, especially in the very beginning is, well, it's painful. I've come to understand that I don't like to feel pain. Because recovery means staying away from the substances that change the way I think and feel, when that pain is there, I'm stuck with it. What used to be a good excuse to numb out, now must be tolerated without the numbing effect.
So, what's the next best thing to numbing out? Finding a new love to completely focus on will have a similar effect. Yeah, you may be staying away from drugs and alcohol but you are not working on the issues that put you there, because they feel too painful, so you avoid them by staying busy with a new person.
The very nature of a relationship gets us to stop focusing on ourselves and spend time getting to know the new person. A new relationship is supposed to be that way, because relationships are supposed to be about sharing your experiences with one another, learning what makes that person tick and anything else that will endorse the reasons you were attracted to the person in the first place. There is no place for that kind of commitment in early sobriety because we are just learning who we are without the effects of drugs and alcohol and it is not a time to get to know someone else, it is the time to get to know yourself.
I don't think there should be a time-limit on when you "can" start to date in recovery but I think it is imperative to have a sponsor who is objective (and more knowledgeable about the beauty of sobriety) to help keep the focus where it needs to be and to keep us moving forward in sobriety not coming to a dead stop, or worse, ending up moving backward.
If you are new in sobriety, do YOURSELF a huge favor and stay out of a relationship for a while, I promise you won't die if you do! Now that you're living your life clean and sober don't you deserve the best relationship and the best life has to offer? Then get to know yourself, enjoy physical sobriety, stay involved at meetings, talk with a sponsor and allow yourself the time to become the best person you can be - and then wait for the miracle to happen; and happen, it will. Trust me.
By JD Henry.
Helium.com