"IMO, it isn't what he is doing that is wrong for you. I finally realized I was treating myself worse than AH ever could." yep, denny, it was totally me last night and doing it to MYSELF. i could have very easy just settled last night at my friends house and enjoyed being by myself, but i asked for more hurt all along knowing exactly what i was doing.
i think self doubt and guilt are playing a big part in it too. part of me is actually believing that i am at fault for not being intimate or not trying or fighting enough for our marriage or whatever... with him because this is what he is telling me. he thinks that i am doing it out of anger and trying to control him. i can't get him to understand that it is a boundary that i need for myself. i refuse to let our relationship come down to the little "business arrangement" he is trying to make with me regarding the car settlement. he thinks that it is perfectly justified.
he doesn't respect me and never will if i give in.
thank queen for your kind words and helping me to feel like i am not the crazy one (even if i was last night) lol.