gns.......it helped me to think of my xh as 'gone" in spirit. the alcoholism took that away. i wasn't dealing with the man.....i was dealing with the monster of addiction.
a faceless, invisible, monster that was inside my husband....like a pod person, kinda, sorta.
"the man" that you used to know, now has an agenda with his addiction. and that addiction does not include you.....
it's not about you, hon......it's about him. you are worthy. so is he, probably, but he is not there right now.
best to you, sweety
big hugs to you
jeri