What's wrong with this picture???
You know, I know I'm a raging codie, and I've read a gajillion books and articles about codependency, gone to a bunch of meetings, posted here hundreds of times and read thousands of posts. But it still catches me off guard.
XAH came by this evening to take my son to a football game. I took a gander at him outside the window to make sure he looked together, and went about my business.
Well, about ten minutes after they left, what happens? I find myself thinking, "Gee, he looked okay. He hasn't fallen apart. Maybe I misjudged and he's not an addict. Maybe it was my fault, that he drank and used because of me." Then ~ and I can hardly believe this~ for a brief second, I actually welled up with tears and said to myself ~"I want my old life back!"
Hmmmmm. What's wrong with this picture??? When will this end????
The good news is, the mood passed quickly.And I didn't revert to spending the next three hours making myself remember the rotten things that happened during our relationship, which of course gets me obsessing, which gets me depressed, and on and on. I just got back to working on my own stuff, and the moment was gone in a snap. At least I've made that much progress! But I needed to check in with you guys, I guess for a little codie to codie validation ~ Does it ever end????
Oh, on a very happy note, I had my first holiday greeting cards designs come out this week! I'm working on some new designs, so thats helping keep my brain a tad centered!