Welcome to SR....
"enough is enough"
words to live by....
many of us have had that "aha" moment....
when we realize that it is possible to stop the pain...
for me (as a parent) I finally decided to get off the roller coaster...
that didn't mean the "ride" stopped but at least I wasn't on it anymore....
and now, by the grace of God, the ride has slowed down considerably...
I pray you find the strength and peace of mind to stay the course
take care of yourself and your children...
perhaps this will be your husband's time to reach out for recovery but if not please know that you will be fine and the pain can stop