Originally Posted by
gabenyc 
I am fighting every urge I have to try and make things better, to try and return us back to the place where we were, to try and show willingness to tolerate behavior that I know will destroy me, to try and reason with him and get him to understand how his behavior affected me, and to try and resurrect the person I fell in love with. It is really hard, and is taking all of the strength I have.
((gab)) sorry your hurting too. I would suggest fighting that urge. Looking back and sometimes i still make EVERY excuse in the book for my exabf's bad behavior. They have a choice between right and wrong, and are adults. It will destroy you if you think it will go back to the way it was. It may for a while but will quickly return to that old way again.
My dad told me some advice that if i could get through the pain once and for all a few months ago when we first broke up, that it would be much less pain than getting back together and prolonging it happening again down the road trying to heal. I know it's not easy for any of us but if he's on a destructive path, you DON'T want to be in that nightmare. No contact has saved my life.