Why can't your family be the first thing...including yourself and your sobriety. Without you present and sober family does not exsist.
You need your meetings alot right now...could the quality of your time at home use an adjustment? Can you bring home take out or cook a couple nights to keep your wife a bit happier? Is there something you can do for her to make it up to her and not compromise or grovel?
I am afraid she is not seeing any change that directly affects her since you are gone at meetings so much.
For me it is not what you say it is what you do. Regret is a bad bad thing for my own recovery and I do my best to behave in ways that will leave me no regret.
Hugs and good luck,
JT