hey, think outloud all you want, sometimes theres good advice that could bounce back at you from yourself or someone else. Having a pony and steer makes me somewhat jealous, I love animals and always wanted to have a small farm however, living in the city makes that somewhat difficult and married to a city slicker makes it even more difficult. so dogs and cats is all I get to have. I do work at the zoo so I get my animal fix. lol
anyway, I hope your decision is the best one for you and I hope your situation even on your own improves, you sound like a wonderful person to know.