Thanks for your response shutterbug.
I had a major depression years ago and I have been ok for years...
Now its just like your smiley face blowing the bubble gum...its smacking me in the face and its all over me and right now I am having a hard time getting it off
my heart knows I am ok and I am not worthless and I am smart and an incredible person.
but my head is all gummed up thinking thoughts I should not be thinking.
perhaps if I keep posting here i will get thru it without having to seek medical help.
we will see. give me some time.