dreamygirl, you have described alot of what I have witnessed lately w/my AH. When I was first w/him, he was drinking daily. After 3 years, I left him for 3 weeks, he went to rehab, got sober and was sober for over 14 years, during that time we got married and he was a great husband and father to my kids (his stepkids). When he relapsed 5 or 6 years ago, it wasn't that bad at the beginning and has gotten progressively worse. He has turned into a mean, nasty drunk. Liver dr. told him he had 5 years at best if he continued to drink, did that stop him, no. In May he was taken to the hospital w/a blood alcohol level of over .4 (usually comatose or lethal). After that, he went to rehab, which gave me hope for the future (considering it cost over $4500). I visited him every weekend to support him. He was sober for 98 days and has been drunk ever since. When he is drunk, he sleeps upstairs like your XAH, for weeks on end, doesn't care if he ever sleeps w/me, rather chose drinking over sleeping and sex, I just don't get. Yes, this is no way of life for me. I am lonely and depressed. My kids don't visit often (they can't put up w/him) and if I go out, I just have to deal w/him when I get home. Even though I am not in love w/him anymore, I do care alot about him, and it truly hurts me what our marriage has become and the sad fact that it is over. I need to grieve it, and then stay with family and/or friends like you did until it is finally over. Thank you so much for your post.