amnesia57

I have to say that I am SO grateful to have found this message board. Yesterday I posted a rant about the situation with my heroin-addicted son, who is in prison and intends to move back in with us when he is paroled. I really didn't expect much of a response; I just wanted to get things off my chest, as they say.

I am OVERWHELMED with the supportive reponses I got. Reading all of the direct and thoughtful comments gave me the strength and focus to sit down with my wife last night and tell her: HE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT MOVING BACK IN.

To my amazement she took it well (she is the codependent in the family). She obviously didn't agree 100 percent but nodded agreement with most of my points and didn't try to argue or defend him as she usually does. She seemed relieved that I am being more assertive. I felt much better after this discussion.

This isn't over or even close to over. I have to write to my son and tell him firmly that he can't move back in. He will be hurt and angry and deluge my wife with (collect) phone calls to try to turn her against me. And that will be tough because he is a genius at pushing her buttons. And he'll keep it up indefinitely; he has nothing else to do in prison.

He'll be mad at me for a long time. But that's okay.

I just hope I don't weaken. Now I need to find a support group to attend ...