i do understand. my a.s. & then my grandson caused my husband & me alot of problems. i was smart enough to see what it was doing to our home & i will not let my son ( not my husbands) or my grandson stay with us anymore. maybe u can talk to your wife about this & she will understand how u feel.it is really bad when the addict spits up a perfectly happy home. they can do it if we let them. it takes a couple working together to stay together. one of you can ot do it alone.is your wife in recovery? set your boundries with your son,you are doing the right thing. prayers, hope