Frankly, my husband is just like Jerry. He would never ever go to a meeting of any kind with anyone. He neither drinks nor does drugs but he drank years ago and maybe it's just all too close to home for him.
He seemed fine when my son and I were going through our times, he just took a big step back and didn't get involved unless he was asked. When my son disappeared I went through a terrible dark time and worked through it with the help of this program. My husband went through a hard time too but I didn't understand what was happening for a long time. He just became emotionally unavailable and wouldn't talk about why. That went on for almost a year and then he finally talked about it and let go and he's been okay every since.
I'm sharing that because I think I understand Jerry and his pain, and perhaps it's just something he needs to work through his own way.
I do know that talking about what I learned in my recovery did help my husband. Just sharing the things I had learned and how it worked for me. Sort of his own private meetings, LOL, one on one at home where it is private. He read some of my books too and I think that helped. My husband is a spiritual man and I think that helped a lot. Today he trusts God to look after our son, much like I do.
I didn't mean to be this wordy, but I thought I'd share that in hopes that it helps in some way.
Hugs