I am also thinking that is good to be who we are! We are wonderful, giving and loving people. I believe that we always choose what can never be ours and don't look for the other people who are loving and willing to love us. The picking partners that aren't any good for us is just another good ole symptom of the ACOA.
We never had that foundation of love and trust and we don't think we're worthy of it. Why should we? After all, as much as we wanted to be loved by our alcoholic parent, the love was never there. The more we did for them, the more they expected and the worse things were for us.
We're programmed to hook up with people like our parents!
Thank GOD for alanon. That's what saved me this time. I learned what my value really is and I won't waste it on someone who can't give love back in return.