I also remember in my earliy recovery, that it was a process
I went through in a simulator way. I had a lot of emotional bagage
and i was hurt myself. Getting sober ment i felt instant pain.
The reason why these issue comes up or catch my attention or
I want to talk about them is becuase deep inside i was really
hurting and it was just coming up.
It wasn't so much that I saw my ex-wife everyday. She was 1600
miles away, but i carried the hurt and love for her inside of me.
I bacailly thought about her all the time, if I wasn't wacked out
of my mind. I will go through the cycle of I miss her,then I'm angery
at her and i hate her. It bascailly drove me crazy.
I thought time would let me get over it. It never did.
I was afriad of breaking down in tears or breaking down period.
I watched a lady let it all hang out oneday in a meeting. and it was okay.
She had so much courage. Plus it kind of trigger alot of emotions
inside of..stuff that i tried to burried away.
I went home after that meeting and cried my heart out.
I finally allow myself to process all the pain and grieve for her lost.
She was the love of my life and I lost her.
I just so happened to be reading a book about forgiveness.
So I figure, i follow some insrtruction or some suggestions.
I forgave my ex-wife for everything i thought she had done wrong to me.
I pray and hope for her happiness everyday, even if it ment she
and I was no longer. That's how i got over my ex-wife.
Becuase i didn't know how to get over her before that piont.
I knew i needed to get over her..but no one gave me instructions.lol
Also during that process ,I felt a connection with something greater
than me. i felt peace in my life and being sober wasn't as painful
anymore.
It's kind of like applying the principle in all our affairs or look at the simularities.
At a certain stage of my earily recovery. I felt like i wan't to cry
for no perticular reason..i didn't know why.
Then some old timer told me...i was grieving over alcohol.lol
well....becuase alcohol and drugs was the love of my life too. That's
how I got over drugs and alcohol or stopped obsessing over it.
makesence ?
Last edited by SaTiT; 10-23-2007 at 09:59 AM.