The dreaded word
Relapse!
AS had 9 months clean, living in an Oxford House and totally on his way to a new life. But, his work gave him a ton of crap, threatened to fire him, sent him "away" for more training and even tested him with fellow workers wanting to do "shots", etc. at the local bar. He said no, went back to his hotel and came home. Kept calling his "oxford house" after every incident...we think they were "testing" him and he was getting advice from his fellow Oxford House guys. His housemates were terrific, helping him through the temptations and got him through the whole week. Says he called them repeatedly every night.
Well, he relasped last night, after coming home....knew it, heard him leaving at 12:30AM, driving MY car, and I just said to myself...no way, he could never do that again....But I was wrong (or right) depending upon viewpoint.
I know it's only one screw-up and can be handled, esp. since I just discovered that he has bi-polar disorder, and with proper meds, that can be controlled.
Unfortunately, there is at least one SR board member who was hoping this would happen...since I kept saying he won't relapse...well, you got your wish...hope you can sleep better at night because of it. You win! You know who you are!
(Can you even imagine a former friend hoping your son would relapse?)
Well, I have a full month with him before he can get back into another Oxford House! He's going to learn how to keep a checkbook register. He's going to get help for his psysiological (not pyschological) probs, such as Bi-polar disorder.
I only learned recently that bi-polar disorder is a prime suspect in any sort of substance abuse. Never saw a single post here about that....it has always been the addicts fault here. We were always co-dependants. Never our fault, never our genes that we have transmitted to our kids. She said sarcastically....I have recently learned about a ton of info about all this! However, we are no more at fault than our parents, who handed down the gene along with it's epi-genome (enviornmental factors) to us.