My lightbulb moment was about 18 months ago when I finally stopped thinking about my exah's drug use as a "problem" and called it what it really it-addiction. That was the turning point for me. I started taking the focus off of him and putting it on myself, learning all I could about the situation and how best to handle things for MYSELF and MY CHILDREN instead of for him.
It was the real beginning of my detachment from him and from the havoc that addiction and codependency had reaped in my life.
I learned that I needed to let go of the fantasy that I had of the perfect home and the fairlytale family, and accept the reality of what my life had become.
At that point, I began a slow but steady walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel by making a plan and setting boundaries. Not making threats to set boundaries, but REAL boundaries that were not an effort to control him but to find peace for myself.
Wonder of wonders-IT WORKS!!
8