I have been in Ala-non for 5 years and i guess I am getting use to the stories now.
I just divorced my AH after 22 years of marriage which included 4 years of separation. I waited those 4 years for him to turn it around and he never did. He ended up with brain damage from the years of drinking.
I still find it hard to believe it all happened, but I got to the point that I could not live with him. I was too angry and resentful. Now I pity him.
I had to move on and protect my kids. He made a mess of things and none of it was in our favor. I thank God and Ala-non for showing me the way out of the bad situation.
Just do what you need to do for yourself and your kids. Keep looking up and your Higher Power will show you what to do. In the meantime, if he gets it together .....great. Just keep moving on.
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
One day at a time.