Brenda I know where you are coming from, I am thankful I have reached the point mentioned in the book Alcoholics Anonymous where it says:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
I know people in the rooms today who have 20+ years sober and still will not go around others drinking, I have no problem with it, that does not mean I am any better then them, just that the miracle happened for an old drunk.
Sobriety is a 2 edged sword I have found, today I bask in the pleasure and joy of my own sobriety, yet my sobriety has allowed me to see what alcohol has done to others far more clearly then when I was still drinking, today I am able to see it is not just the old wino or bum that this disease is killing, but also hard working men and women, I see it in my brother in law today, I drank with him for years and never was able to see where Jim Barleycorn was taking him nor was I able to see the pain his drinking brings to his wife as she see's him slipping slowly away. My heart aches for her when she has asked me what to do to help him and all I can really do until he is ready is stay sober myself and tell her to go to Alanon and learn how to save herself from his alcoholism.