Thank you.
Despite the fact that I'm not in an economic situation to leave my AH at the time being, I'm looking around for other places to live in the near future. Your words and take on my situation have been a huge comfort to me. My husband has been detoxing himself for the last couple of days but I know he'll do it again, just not certain when.
We have no children in the house - we're grandparents, in fact - but I will certainly not have mine around him when he's like this. I have been with this man for 15 years, married to him for 4. He enjoyed four years of sobriety then jumped his trolley around 2 years ago. The binges are becoming more frequent and it's the maniacal look in his eyes when he's on them that frightens me. He looks possessed and for all I know, he is. I find him a disgusting, self-absorbed 8-year-old when he drinks. I will seek out some Al-Anon meetings in my area despite the fact that the first one I attended a couple of years ago fell flat with me. I know there are others.
Many, many thanks to each of you and hugs.