he was not honest with the counselor and made our problems seem like simple communication-type issues. An abuser is a master manipulator and can turn a couples counseling situation into a forum for his controlling behavior. I don't know how many times my ex started a sentence with "you know what the counselor said" when I would try to confront him on something. Just be careful.
I have to agree 100%. I can also tell you that each of us is ready when we are ready,and not a moment before. Nobody has the answer for you... but we can all understand completely and we can share our experience, strength and hope with you.
When I started setting and maintaining boundaries, things changed at our house. And it wasn't exactly pleasant... he was used to the "dance" the way it had always been. I realized that he was going to be meaner and stronger and more manipulative to get his way... and I also realized I deserved better.
Talking to a woman's shelter is a good idea. The people there can help you with information. Gathering information doesnt mean that you are going to take any action. It just means you have some more information should you CHOOSE to take an action.
We are here for you,and we really do understand.
Hugs
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