Welcome! You have definitely found the right place! There is so much experience and hope here. When I first began my own process of getting healthy and I would hear people talk about "hope", I heard it to mean that the addict in my life (my 22 year old step-daughter who lives with my partner and I) would stop using alcohol and drugs and everything would be ok. Now, I understand that "hope" means that I can be ok -- better than ok, even -- regardless of whether she chooses to get healthy or not.
You are here for YOU. You can't change or control the outcome. His recovery belongs to him, no matter how badly you want it for him. However -- the Good News --- YOUR RECOVERY BELONGS TO YOU! Yee-haw!
I have been working on my own recovery (from craziness!!) for a year, and I'm learning that I am in charge of my own joy, calmness, health and gratitude - no matter what the people in my life choose to do. I can love them, and I can take care of myself at the same time without feeling guilty for putting myself first (most of the time.....). You know what they say on the airplanes -- Secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting others!!
Blessings to you,
Laura