The only one that can help you is you. Dont worry about the other people in your life, worry about you. You can do this if you really want to do this. The first step is to look inside yourself, and admit that you are powerless. This is the hardest thing to do. Once you have sat back and looked inside yourself and are ready to do the work to make you better than you will get better. I know I have been there and by me not looking at myself it cost me alot even jail time cause I didnt look inside myself cause I was afraid of what I was going to see. Once i did that then the healing began. I know it sounds selfish, but you must worry about you now and no one else.
Good Luck you can do this. We all have been there and here to help. Keep posting.