echoing sentiments above ... for many of us, AA/NA was the ticket out.
if you already knew how to do what you obviously feel you SHOULD be doing, you'd be doing it.
the program is about support, fellowship, and learning how to adjust your thought processes so you can live sober. the tools are vaguely 'spiritual' in nature, and occasionally something approaching 'religion' intrudes (imho) on the proceedings, but there are an awful lot of us here who know deep down that we'd be out there (or dead) if it weren't for 'the rooms', and most if not all of us were highly resistant to the notion that we couldn't 'do it ourselves' for quite some time ... quite some WASTED time, that is...
Keep posting in any case. We'll do all we can to help regardless of whether you'll take any advice from us
