I understand your pain
:sorry :sorry When the addiction got really bad it was the same as yours. My eyes were finally opened when he had a seizure at work The doctor would not let him go back to work for 6 months. He began to drink very hard. I guess the job kept him from doing that.
I had a hard time finding anyone that could help me even though I was going to Ala-non and still am. I tried everything and then left him alone…. nothing. Finally I could not bear to watch him destroy himself any longer and it was not good for the children. I went to 4 different attorneys over the course of 5 years. No I could not commit him either. I was told this is America and if someone wants to kill themselves by drinking they can.
After a year and a half of what seemed like hell, I finally got him to move out into his own apartment. He used all his 401 K money to live there for the next 3 years when I found him on the floor almost dead. I had not seen him for a week but that was not usual. He went to the ER and then to ICU where they saved him but at what cost! He now has what they call “wet brain” or Korsakoff syndrome. He has no short term memory and will have to live with constant supervision the rest of his life. It is so sad. He has been in the state mental hospital since last Dec 2006. He is waiting on placement in a home.
He has been disabled by social security. He has a guardian with the county. He will never be able to run his own life again or drive.
I cannot tell you what this has done to me. During the course of everything, I was pushed to protect myself and my children. It was the process that pushed me and I’m glad I did. Everything I did, I did not want to do but I could not live with the consequences of his actions. In fact when he was hospitalized we were separated and I have just now gotten the divorce….2 months ago. I can’t tell you the mess he left behind. There are a ton of bills. I was able to get the house titled over to me and I will tell you if I had not done that the state would have come after the house as he has no health insurance. The separation in and of itself in this state protected me from his bills.
Please, please, please protect yourself and any children you have. Take the steps today. If he turns it around…great. If not, you are protected.
You have to save yourself.
I decided he was going down and he wasn’t taking the 3 of us with him. I now get social security benefits after 4 years of separation and getting nothing.
Write to me anytime.
I am still in a lot pain over this as his family wants nothing to do with him. My children and I go see him once a week and he begs to come home. He is like he was before the addiction took over except for the memory problems. It is heart breaking. I have to move forward. It is painful.