The anxiety goes on - boring sequel
Hi all, (weak smile)
I was too ill to go to work and got hold of the doctor around noon.
He agreed to see me at once and examined me. He said it seemed just like an infection and I would get rid of it myself. 99,9% it´s nothing serious, he said.
I think it´s a bit irresponsible to talk like this. He is a doctor. What if he is wrong?
I told him how anxious I was and as he knows I´m a hypochondriac, he did a bloodtest himself on the spot. Told me he was going to have it sent to find out if I had any serious diseases like cancer and Aids. He even called the lab to tell them to be super quick and will e-mail me some of the results on Wednesday.
At the mention of these diseases, I got a panic attack, but didn´t show anything. I just left. I wanted to go back and ask him not to send my blood sample to the laboratoire, but in any case it was gone.
A friend came over with some fruit and flowers, but I sent him away and gave my neighbour the flowers. I cannot see anyone right now.
I haven´t been able to breathe properly and I cannot take care of my child. She´s at my mom´s. I cannot do anything constructive, and I wished I could still do drugs and drink.
When I feel like this, there is only one thing I can do. Talk to my AA friends. My sponsor is coming over from an evening class.
Love and light,