Originally Posted by
acuera 
This leads me to believe that no they cannot control any of this and if it looks like they are addicted then they are. And those of us who love them are left feeling lost and sad. You will not lose your bf in the future, you already have lost him. You need to wonder if you ever had him with you at all. The drugs and alcohol take up the most time and space, no matter how much they love you, they can't go all the way. Is this what you want?
Again wow... please allow me to ask some questions. First question: At what point is a drug/alcohol classified as an addiction? For example as a smoker I CRAVE cigarettes - I wake up and the first thing I want to do is smoke, if I am forced to go a while (i.e. a flight) without a cigarette I go nuts and it becomes all I think about it (yes I'm looking into Allan Carr lol)... doesn't that sound like an addiction? My bfs drinking is NOTHING like that! Like I said he can go weeks or a month without touching the stuff... our house has been without alcohol plenty of times and unless he had already been out drinking he won't even look to see if there is any... Does that sound like an addiction?
Secondly, how do you mean I've already lost him? This is what's really confusing me and I'm sorry if I'm on the defense here - but my bf is currently not doing anything of the harsh things that have been described so far.. he's admitted the problem - don't they say that's the first step?
In all honesty I'm troubled here... it sounds like all hope is lost, and it sounds like people are no longer willing to give other people a chance? Is this really what its come to... a lost cause, run now, they're all the same, etc?