acuera

Here's what I went through. My boyfriend was trying to stay clean from hard drugs. He did this, but at the same time, was smoking weed and drinking beer sometimes. He couldn't just drink one beer. He couldn't just smoke one joint. He lost his job for this. He neglected me and his kids. He then got into this exercise trip and would go running for hours to overcome the cravings. He was sick a lot. He couldn't be around people. All he wanted to do was stay at home with me, eat, watch TV, have sex. No going out. Not even a walk on the beach and we live a block from the beach. In the end, he was off in his own little world, trying to "control" his habit. Meanwhle whatever mood he was in became the whole mood of the house. And I am working, paying the bills, dealing with whatever it takes to survive and feeling very tired and down. When I told him he needed to go to NA and solve his problem, he agreed, but did not go. I finally exploded after so many years of resentment and sorrow and kicked him out. Now he is in the street getting high and no one can convince him to change his life. This leads me to believe that no they cannot control any of this and if it looks like they are addicted then they are. And those of us who love them are left feeling lost and sad. You will not lose your bf in the future, you already have lost him. You need to wonder if you ever had him with you at all. The drugs and alcohol take up the most time and space, no matter how much they love you, they can't go all the way. Is this what you want?