You described my husband 30 years ago, before he entered rehab and remained sober for 14 years. You then described him 5 years ago when he relapsed. Now, his only friends are drunks like him, the true ones don't want to know him. Our marriage was great 95% of the time when he first picked up, his drinking was the only problem, then as years and drinking progressed (and it ALWAYS does!), the marriage was regressing from 95% to 85% to 50% to 0%. And yes, they can control it - very much so to your eyes - while it appears to you that they are not drinking they are hiding it and the empties and while you smell it on their breath, they will make you feel like you're the crazy one. And if he did quit drinking, there is ALWAYS that RELAPSE hanging over your head - ALWAYS!!!! If I had known this when I married my husband (he was sober a while by then), I would NEVER EVER have married him. Needless to say, I am in the process of trying to find an attorney for a divorce right now (read my post on how expensive they are!), and we are still living in the same house, he's drunk and denying it every single moment (although slurring his words), telling me I'm crazy and my life has become sheer HELL!!!! Please don't let this happen to you.