Looking back, I think I compensated for my feelings of inadequacy as a mother (because my son turned out to be an addict) by trying to be the "Recovery Mother of the Year" by standing by my son, supporting him, taking care of him and doing all sorts of enabling things, thinking it was love. I was afraid to look at the person I had become, because the person I had become lived in fear every single day and tried to hide it by "doing" more and more until I was exhausted, still never being "enough".
My own recovery has taught me that addiction is not about me, I didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it either. I have learned that I don't have to meet anyone's expectations as a mother or as a person. Being "me" is more than good enough, it's a terrific person to be.
Learning that allowed me to stop being a victim living in the problem. Today I am a survivor and I live in the solution. It's a much nicer place to be.