I can't get a hold of him now. My inner voice says that he is out of money and out of his alcohol and crack. And my inner voice is telling me he is out trying to get some, stealing or whatever.
He is behind two months in rent so he must have spent all of his money on drugs.
I am so angry, it's true I think God is going to force me to give up my magical worry and guilt. I never let go until it gets too bad to hold on to. I just don't know how to do it any other way.
I guess I have to just sit here and do the best I can do. I really feel like putting my fist through a wall, but I don't want to fix it after I'm done.
I am REALLY angry at this whole thing. I feel like beating the hell out of him.
MG