Hello.....new here, not new to there
Hi,
My boyfriend was admitted to alcohol detox last night and I am now lost. I don't know how to help. I have questions and things I want to say but I am afraid it will alll be wrong. I have lived my life surrounded by alcoholics I love and yet I never had to deal with their recovery. My father was an angry abusive alcoholic and one day 24 years ago it all just stopped. I woke up and it was over, just like a bad nightmare. I was 11 then. My brother never got to recovery...phases where he stopped drinking due to incarceration and eventually death. He went to a party and got drunk. He fell off the balcony onto his head and was brain dead 6 days later. Now I was married to a "passive" alcoholic who would drink and pass out, we are getting divorced and I began dating this WONDERFUL AMAZING INCREDIBLE human being who (you guessed it) is an alcoholic. Like my father and my brother he is angry, violent drunk but when he is NOT drinking I love to spend HOURS and HOURS with him. He has never hit ME but he has smashed windows and the police have been called due to his yelling. Two weeks ago the conversation of "where are WE headed" conversation. We have spoken about his drinking MANY times and he has said many times, he knows he is an alcoholic and needs help. The last few days he he has talked about it ALOT and then he stopped drinking on Sunday. Needless to say, he started going through withdrawl and decided he needed to go to an in house treatment center. He was dehydrated and they gave him an IV. Today his blood pressure, pulse and heart rate have all been elevated and they are afraid he is going to go into a seizure so they have had him well medicated. I am so sick of people saying for me to just walk away from him, he's an alcoholic. I am tired of all the negativity the feel they have a right to expell on me. I am tired of everyone asking me WHY i would want to be with "someone like him". The thing is alcoholisim IS NOT HIM, it is something he HAS. It does not make HIM the person I love, the person I love HAS alcohol dependancy. I think having my dad be an alcoholic actually doesn't help because it gives me proof that people can change and I guess I hold onto that. I am lost....where do i go from here?